lol.
that sounds like a song title.
"Plethora of Love"
ANYWAY.
hmm, it's been a while since i've written in here.
okay, a long time. few months or something.
OH! I got myself the new Nintendo DSi on easter :DD
is SO FUCKING COOOL.
it takes pictures, records, and i can even listen to music on it >:P
but, i'd need an SD card for that, and i don't have one currently.
guh. the A+ Exam in mr.diaz's class is coming up soon. I have to start studying for that. I can't believe i actually paid to take it. I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail though. Many, what a waste of money.
huh. i also need to take some notes for english. and continue working on my piece pass. bleh.
i don't really feel like doing much except play XBOX 360 or Platinum. Actually, just Platinum, but i'm currently letting my DSi recharge becuase the light turned red when my fam and i were driving back from our soccer game, which we lost by the way!
haha, not that i really care. i don't take it seriously anymore. Everyone seems to have stopped having fun in the beginning of the season, so now we all are indifferent to whether we win or not.
I'm fine with that though.
I really want to play pokemon. Like, burning gut desire.
either that or i'm really hungry.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
2Ca + Fe --> CaFe + Ca
I can't stand chemistry. It's driving me up a wall! I don't understand half the things we learn, and the half i do, I'm behind so it takes me longer to learn it. I have a homework assignment that's due in 6th period (when i have chemistry) and i haven't gotten anywhere close to finishing it. GODDAMNIT, this is frustrating.
Grr. Maybe i'll just take a deep breath. Calm down adriana, calm down.
Not everything's bad though. In Graphic Design I had a 69 becuase i didn't turn in assignments, and right now I've finished all but one which i'll have ready by tomorrow. Hopefully my grade is around a high B or low A. Man, I've really been slacking off these past few weeks, but i've been trying to change that. Now that Next year I'll be taking AP classes I'm going to have to straighten myself out before that happens. I'm a bit iffy on whether i want to take AP History though becuase it's a lot of reading, and i know AP Biology and AP Lang are going to be a lot of work to get done. On top of that, I'm also going to be playing soccer, and that's definitely going to be getting in the way of how much time i'm going to be spending on homework.
Gah. I don't even know what i want for my electives next year. I know AP Spanish will be one of them, but besides that, I'm not sure. I was thinking about P.E. so that i won't have homework and stuff in it, and i'll make an easy A in that class, but still, I want to do something different that I know i'll enjoy doing.
I have the schedule with me, so I'm going to figure this out once I finish posting this and get off my laptop.
OH SHIT. that reminds me. I've got freakin' FCAT Explorer due Friday, and I haven't done any of it yet. shit shit shit.
Meh. looks like i'm going to have to do that first.
Grr. Maybe i'll just take a deep breath. Calm down adriana, calm down.
Not everything's bad though. In Graphic Design I had a 69 becuase i didn't turn in assignments, and right now I've finished all but one which i'll have ready by tomorrow. Hopefully my grade is around a high B or low A. Man, I've really been slacking off these past few weeks, but i've been trying to change that. Now that Next year I'll be taking AP classes I'm going to have to straighten myself out before that happens. I'm a bit iffy on whether i want to take AP History though becuase it's a lot of reading, and i know AP Biology and AP Lang are going to be a lot of work to get done. On top of that, I'm also going to be playing soccer, and that's definitely going to be getting in the way of how much time i'm going to be spending on homework.
Gah. I don't even know what i want for my electives next year. I know AP Spanish will be one of them, but besides that, I'm not sure. I was thinking about P.E. so that i won't have homework and stuff in it, and i'll make an easy A in that class, but still, I want to do something different that I know i'll enjoy doing.
I have the schedule with me, so I'm going to figure this out once I finish posting this and get off my laptop.
OH SHIT. that reminds me. I've got freakin' FCAT Explorer due Friday, and I haven't done any of it yet. shit shit shit.
Meh. looks like i'm going to have to do that first.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Hot pursuit of the Bell
Right now I'm in the middle of 4th period. I just finished taking a test. Thank GOD it was open book, becuase there were many things that I couldn't remember, haha. I'm pretty sure I got an A on it, becuase I was able to find the answers quickly and smoothly. I think I overdidit on the essay questions (which really, you're supposed to reply with only a paragraph). I wrote about the front of a page for one of them. The other was about a paragraph though, only becuase I was getting really lazy and my headache was starting to get worse.
There's a pep rally this Friday and I'm really excited about it. I got picked to play dodgeball with some of the other Sophomores in my class. We're playing against the Seniors TT-TT. I'm a bit nervous, not to mention scared, and i don't want to make a fool of myself infront of everyone. Oh well, I'm just gonna go there and have fun, becuase that's what it's mainly for.
The bell's about to ring soon and I have lunch, so I'm gonna post this right now and probably write more later.
There's a pep rally this Friday and I'm really excited about it. I got picked to play dodgeball with some of the other Sophomores in my class. We're playing against the Seniors TT-TT. I'm a bit nervous, not to mention scared, and i don't want to make a fool of myself infront of everyone. Oh well, I'm just gonna go there and have fun, becuase that's what it's mainly for.
The bell's about to ring soon and I have lunch, so I'm gonna post this right now and probably write more later.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
pick yourself back up, on leg at a time
i kind of left a gloomy mood in the last last blog i posted, haha.
it was a while back ago. Haven't done much with this blogging thing, even though i check my friend's one on here like, every other day :P
things have definitely gotten better since january. for one, the project wasn't a total failure. as a matter of fact, she absolutely adored it ^^ and i got a pretty 100 on it ;]
my mood has definitely improved lately, but it's only started recently. I think it has to do with talking to daniel, my cousin who i hadn't talked to in over three months? yeah.
we talked about my "friend" dilemma, the one that i mentioned i don't talk to anymore, and he sort of helped me see things in a new light. It's amazing how talking to someone else about something without actually taking any action makes life seem so much easier. I've been able to deal with things head on lately, and life just seems more fufilling now. I guess in some ways i was depressed.
I also figured out i have (had?) acute depression, and cronic anxiety. I looked it up in this bigass blue book my mom has here at home, and i have all the symptoms, which is kind of scary lol.
i guess in one way it just helps to know why i'll act a certain way. Now that i know why, it's just plain easier to deal.
i haven't talked to angelique in a while though, but she's visiting Florida this week, and i'm so excited to see her again! we were planning on going to Universal, like we used to do in the good old days, haha xD
god i miss that girl, she really is my best friend, and i don't know what i'd do without her.
on another note, today we had FCAT.
i know the first thing that comes along with that is "FUCK!" but, it wasn't so bad. As a matter of fact, i was looking forward to it, and it was really easy. The prompt i had was "why do people save things?" it was really easy to answer why, and i feel like i pwned that test ;]
i gave reasons like sentimental value, real value like gold, historical value, and family heirloom-like items. I used lots of figurative language, which sometimes i come up pretty short on, so i'm super happy about that. I even put in a harry potter reference, haha. Carly would be so proud of me ! ^^
Last week i had the flu, and so now this week i'm stuck trying to make up work. It's sort of difficult, i keep getting distracted from it. Like now for instance, rather than reading for history or studying for the math test i have, i'm on here, on this blogwhatsitnot, writing about it rather than actually doing it.
don't you just love procrastination?
i mean i've done some, the easy and important stuff, but there's much more that i could be doing, although i feel as if i'm going to need more than just a week to finish all of this, becuase on top of that, i've also got homework.
maybe tomorrow i'll get the majority of the stuff done, becuase it is wednesday, so i'll have an extra hour to finish.
uh..
it's valentine's day this saturday.
joy.
valentine's has always been a bad day for me, but it got worse starting last year, so my heart's permanently scarred.
last year i gave a card to my bestfriend (not angelique) confessing my feelings towards her, and well.
yeah, she didn't feel the same way.
i shouldn't have expected different, i just wanted her to know, i guess? i was tired of hiding it. But a part of me wishes that i hadn't told her, becuase even though it's been a year, it's still different when i'm around her.
GAHHH. I hate valentine's day.
people put too much emphasis on it.
god, i'm afraid what i'd do if i actually had a valentine. just thinking about getting someone something for valentine's day is nerve racking becuase i wouldn't know what to get them.
i'm gonna get off this thing now before i start thinking too much about it. i need to take a shower anyways.
it was a while back ago. Haven't done much with this blogging thing, even though i check my friend's one on here like, every other day :P
things have definitely gotten better since january. for one, the project wasn't a total failure. as a matter of fact, she absolutely adored it ^^ and i got a pretty 100 on it ;]
my mood has definitely improved lately, but it's only started recently. I think it has to do with talking to daniel, my cousin who i hadn't talked to in over three months? yeah.
we talked about my "friend" dilemma, the one that i mentioned i don't talk to anymore, and he sort of helped me see things in a new light. It's amazing how talking to someone else about something without actually taking any action makes life seem so much easier. I've been able to deal with things head on lately, and life just seems more fufilling now. I guess in some ways i was depressed.
I also figured out i have (had?) acute depression, and cronic anxiety. I looked it up in this bigass blue book my mom has here at home, and i have all the symptoms, which is kind of scary lol.
i guess in one way it just helps to know why i'll act a certain way. Now that i know why, it's just plain easier to deal.
i haven't talked to angelique in a while though, but she's visiting Florida this week, and i'm so excited to see her again! we were planning on going to Universal, like we used to do in the good old days, haha xD
god i miss that girl, she really is my best friend, and i don't know what i'd do without her.
on another note, today we had FCAT.
i know the first thing that comes along with that is "FUCK!" but, it wasn't so bad. As a matter of fact, i was looking forward to it, and it was really easy. The prompt i had was "why do people save things?" it was really easy to answer why, and i feel like i pwned that test ;]
i gave reasons like sentimental value, real value like gold, historical value, and family heirloom-like items. I used lots of figurative language, which sometimes i come up pretty short on, so i'm super happy about that. I even put in a harry potter reference, haha. Carly would be so proud of me ! ^^
Last week i had the flu, and so now this week i'm stuck trying to make up work. It's sort of difficult, i keep getting distracted from it. Like now for instance, rather than reading for history or studying for the math test i have, i'm on here, on this blogwhatsitnot, writing about it rather than actually doing it.
don't you just love procrastination?
i mean i've done some, the easy and important stuff, but there's much more that i could be doing, although i feel as if i'm going to need more than just a week to finish all of this, becuase on top of that, i've also got homework.
maybe tomorrow i'll get the majority of the stuff done, becuase it is wednesday, so i'll have an extra hour to finish.
uh..
it's valentine's day this saturday.
joy.
valentine's has always been a bad day for me, but it got worse starting last year, so my heart's permanently scarred.
last year i gave a card to my bestfriend (not angelique) confessing my feelings towards her, and well.
yeah, she didn't feel the same way.
i shouldn't have expected different, i just wanted her to know, i guess? i was tired of hiding it. But a part of me wishes that i hadn't told her, becuase even though it's been a year, it's still different when i'm around her.
GAHHH. I hate valentine's day.
people put too much emphasis on it.
god, i'm afraid what i'd do if i actually had a valentine. just thinking about getting someone something for valentine's day is nerve racking becuase i wouldn't know what to get them.
i'm gonna get off this thing now before i start thinking too much about it. i need to take a shower anyways.
Friday, January 2, 2009
I've got this squeezing feeling in my stomach, like I want to cry.
Well, there's two days left of break, Saturday and Sunday.
I don't really want to go back to school. I finished my english project though. I did a painting. But.. it didn't really turn out the way i wanted it to. It's too... simple? like, the ideas just seem to be thrown on there, and together they don't really compliment each other.
I had high hopes for this project, but in a way, I knew I was going to end up dissapointing myself. I guess this is what happens when I decide to plan things. I've always done projects and the majority of my assignments last minute, and you know what? they usually turn out pretty freakin' great. Procrastination at its best.
I guess once I go and present it and get it over with, it'll all be over and things will go back to the way it was. I just want a good grade. I'm scared that when I finally present it, I'll mess up, or it'll turn out to be one of those projects that everyone sort of goes "ehh. it's okay."
and really, it does look like okay work to me, not anything special.
In the beginning, I was so worried with what I was going to paint, how i was going to even it out, and what symbols i could use that i ended up waisting more time thinking about it and worrying than i did actually working on the project.
I guess I just wanted to impress my teacher, really. I mean, I am pretty good at drawing, (painting, well i need to work on) and i did have alot of good ideas, but when it finally came down to putting it on, I started freaking out and left out alot of things i think i could have done better.
I don't know. I haven't been feeling great, or like myself lately either. Right now I just feel like crying. GOD it's so pathetic. Maybe once school starts again I'll be back to my old self. this break really hasn't done me any good, and it's definitely showing.
And, well... I miss someone. someone who was close to me.
i don't talk to them anymore though, and i think i'm starting to feel the void from them not being there. well, it's not that they aren't there, it's that i won't let them be there. err.. if that makes any sense.
-sigh- i can't even look at them when i see them. They probably think I hate them, but that's not true.
In fact, I love them more than they realize. but i just can't let go. I'm still hurting inside, and even though they're the reason why, i don't blame them.
I blame myself.
I really hope no one i know reads this. lol
I don't think I've ever cared about someone this much. Or maybe I feel this way becuase of how the situation is.
I feel like this is something i need to resolve, something that needs to be fixed, put back together again.
But in a selfish way, I don't want to. A part of me is wishing that the other person feels just as miserable as i do. I know that's pathetic, and immature, but anger and revenge has always been easier for me than sadness.
Jesus. I'm a spiteful bitch.
Right now I feel like I need to beat the shit out of something. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, I want to run a million miles, and never look back. I want to throw my back against something, and feel the bruises.
And deep down inside, I want to hide under my blankets, and cry. Locked up from the world, without anyone else in it. Just me. I know that kind of environment only helps itself, but seriously, i can't take it anymore.
I feel like i'm about to breakdown any second, like a time bomb just waiting to explode.
But I also feel lonely.
really lonely inside, and i guess that doesn't help the sadness go away.
i feel like i don't have anyone who will be there for me, who is willing to understand, or who wants to understand. i don't really have anyone to talk to about this.
hell, i can't even talk to myself about it. the only reason why i'm typing this right now is because i feel that if i don't do something soon, i'm going to lose it.
i don't want someone to be with, i don't want someone to lexture me, or give me advice, or tell me it's all going to be okay, and that you'll look back one day and only see it as a memory.
No, i don't want that right now. I just want someone who will listen. I want someone who can look me in the eye and listen to every word i say, someone who knows that even when i smile and laugh, deep down inside i'm always hurting.
Everyone seems so wrapped up in their own life, they seem to have forgotten about everyone else. Well, i don't blame them.
I'm usually never like this. Never this weak, this pathetic. i feel vunerable, like i'm stripped naked, and everyone is in the hallway trying to get into my room while i'm desperatley looking for clothes to help me conceal the pain on the inside.
I'm usually happy, and in a good mood. I'm the kind of person people look at and expect them to have no problems becuase they have a care free nature, and nothing seems to bother them, becuase they don't care.
I'm the kind of person who'll laugh things off, and act sarcastically so people won't end up taking me seriously.
I don't like having people worry over me, becuase honestly, i think i'm a waste of time. In a group of friends, there is always someone who doesn't seem to have a care in the world, like their problems are never serious, and nothing is taken seriously.
I'm that person.
this time i just want someone who can listen. I've been that person for people before. I've listened to others talk, and rant, even if what they were saying was only for the spurr of the moment, and that tomorrow, they weren't going to feel the same way. then it gets to the point where people expect you to be that person always. someone whose always ready to take on someone elses problems, becuase they don't have any of their own.
yeah, well, i've got problems now.
I'm gonna stop right now, before i end up writing a book about my feelings.
jesus, this is crazy.
I don't really want to go back to school. I finished my english project though. I did a painting. But.. it didn't really turn out the way i wanted it to. It's too... simple? like, the ideas just seem to be thrown on there, and together they don't really compliment each other.
I had high hopes for this project, but in a way, I knew I was going to end up dissapointing myself. I guess this is what happens when I decide to plan things. I've always done projects and the majority of my assignments last minute, and you know what? they usually turn out pretty freakin' great. Procrastination at its best.
I guess once I go and present it and get it over with, it'll all be over and things will go back to the way it was. I just want a good grade. I'm scared that when I finally present it, I'll mess up, or it'll turn out to be one of those projects that everyone sort of goes "ehh. it's okay."
and really, it does look like okay work to me, not anything special.
In the beginning, I was so worried with what I was going to paint, how i was going to even it out, and what symbols i could use that i ended up waisting more time thinking about it and worrying than i did actually working on the project.
I guess I just wanted to impress my teacher, really. I mean, I am pretty good at drawing, (painting, well i need to work on) and i did have alot of good ideas, but when it finally came down to putting it on, I started freaking out and left out alot of things i think i could have done better.
I don't know. I haven't been feeling great, or like myself lately either. Right now I just feel like crying. GOD it's so pathetic. Maybe once school starts again I'll be back to my old self. this break really hasn't done me any good, and it's definitely showing.
And, well... I miss someone. someone who was close to me.
i don't talk to them anymore though, and i think i'm starting to feel the void from them not being there. well, it's not that they aren't there, it's that i won't let them be there. err.. if that makes any sense.
-sigh- i can't even look at them when i see them. They probably think I hate them, but that's not true.
In fact, I love them more than they realize. but i just can't let go. I'm still hurting inside, and even though they're the reason why, i don't blame them.
I blame myself.
I really hope no one i know reads this. lol
I don't think I've ever cared about someone this much. Or maybe I feel this way becuase of how the situation is.
I feel like this is something i need to resolve, something that needs to be fixed, put back together again.
But in a selfish way, I don't want to. A part of me is wishing that the other person feels just as miserable as i do. I know that's pathetic, and immature, but anger and revenge has always been easier for me than sadness.
Jesus. I'm a spiteful bitch.
Right now I feel like I need to beat the shit out of something. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, I want to run a million miles, and never look back. I want to throw my back against something, and feel the bruises.
And deep down inside, I want to hide under my blankets, and cry. Locked up from the world, without anyone else in it. Just me. I know that kind of environment only helps itself, but seriously, i can't take it anymore.
I feel like i'm about to breakdown any second, like a time bomb just waiting to explode.
But I also feel lonely.
really lonely inside, and i guess that doesn't help the sadness go away.
i feel like i don't have anyone who will be there for me, who is willing to understand, or who wants to understand. i don't really have anyone to talk to about this.
hell, i can't even talk to myself about it. the only reason why i'm typing this right now is because i feel that if i don't do something soon, i'm going to lose it.
i don't want someone to be with, i don't want someone to lexture me, or give me advice, or tell me it's all going to be okay, and that you'll look back one day and only see it as a memory.
No, i don't want that right now. I just want someone who will listen. I want someone who can look me in the eye and listen to every word i say, someone who knows that even when i smile and laugh, deep down inside i'm always hurting.
Everyone seems so wrapped up in their own life, they seem to have forgotten about everyone else. Well, i don't blame them.
I'm usually never like this. Never this weak, this pathetic. i feel vunerable, like i'm stripped naked, and everyone is in the hallway trying to get into my room while i'm desperatley looking for clothes to help me conceal the pain on the inside.
I'm usually happy, and in a good mood. I'm the kind of person people look at and expect them to have no problems becuase they have a care free nature, and nothing seems to bother them, becuase they don't care.
I'm the kind of person who'll laugh things off, and act sarcastically so people won't end up taking me seriously.
I don't like having people worry over me, becuase honestly, i think i'm a waste of time. In a group of friends, there is always someone who doesn't seem to have a care in the world, like their problems are never serious, and nothing is taken seriously.
I'm that person.
this time i just want someone who can listen. I've been that person for people before. I've listened to others talk, and rant, even if what they were saying was only for the spurr of the moment, and that tomorrow, they weren't going to feel the same way. then it gets to the point where people expect you to be that person always. someone whose always ready to take on someone elses problems, becuase they don't have any of their own.
yeah, well, i've got problems now.
I'm gonna stop right now, before i end up writing a book about my feelings.
jesus, this is crazy.
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